I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
