I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
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