Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
dude. I can hear the air.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
