it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
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