it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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