Are you still at the party or did I leave?
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
