I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
