I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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