No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
