I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
