Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Randomize
