I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
