I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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