I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
