Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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