I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
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