go do what you do best...puke behind churches
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
Randomize
