how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
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