So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
I don't think brook has ever known best
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
