I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
God I need to hump something, right now.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
