So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
Randomize
