At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Randomize
