I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
