Got a toothbrush?
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Randomize
