I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
Randomize
