you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
