i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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