I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Randomize
