he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
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