they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
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