Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
