Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
there is puke in my bra ... again
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
