I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
