you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Randomize
