I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Randomize
