I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Randomize