Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
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