I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
Randomize