Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
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