Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize
