I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
