I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize
