Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
When are your genitals available?
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
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