Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
