I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
