Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Randomize
