In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Randomize
