I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
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