Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
