saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Randomize
