I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
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