Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
Randomize
