Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Randomize
