Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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