mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Randomize
